Mr. Balls

Mr. Balls is our hardcore roadie from back in the day. He's been to boot camp so he can bounce suckahs like it ain't no thang. Fear the ballz.

Steak

Jake, Professional Roadsteak, is the captain of our roadie crew. All the other Roadies look up to him and hope to someday attain his level of roadsteakness. More than once has he saved Ronan's cymbals from impending doom due to shitty stands. For this we are eternally grateful and, as such, have dedicated a blurb to him which exceedes the customary one sentance.

Jack Schirmer

The best DJ in the pacific northwest. He also has one kick-ass wig thing. Look him up if you need a DJ or something and you're in the Seattle area.

Manda from Florida

One hardcore fan chick. She's always pushing the hell out of us down in her hood so she's earned official Roadie status.

Jen from Ketchikan, AK

She digs us hardcore. She's been doing all the work to set up our shows while we eat corn chips and masturbate.

- WANT TO BE A ROADIE??? -

Send a letter telling us why you think you'd be a good roadie. If you're a hot, naked, big-tittied woman, send us pics too.

Symbol of Freedom
P.O. Box 1131
Wrangell, AK 99929

Slap that address on your envelope and away it goes.